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Blended Families > Military Stepfamilies: July the Month of the Military Stepchild?
Adrienne MayApr 19, 2012I am a step mom and military wife as well, it is an interesting mix. We are thinking about writing a story about military step-families... what has been your biggest challenge with being a step-mom and military family?
Adrienne May asked me the above question on Google+ and it got me thinking. The challenges I face within the military lifestyle are minimal to what my stepchildren endure I have the support of my fellow Army Wives, stepmothers, and many Military programs. I think I'll answer the question "What has been the biggest challenges for children of divorced parents, when one parent deploys?" or "What are some challenges kids face that do not live full time with their military parent?"
Remember as you are reading, this is from my personal experience with my family. I know not all situations are the same. I understand it may be 'different' for you. My husband's ex-wife is not a crappy parent and my husband is not a deadbeat dad. They are two people that fell out of love and made mistakes along the way. Everyone is doing their best to try and do what's best for the kids. There is no book for this. There is no guide. Self-righteousness gets you no where!
The kiddos arrived last night! Just in time for the 4th of July! Although there will not be fireworks on post this year, there are fireworks in our hearts. An excitement because Mackenzie & Danny are here.
My stepchildren live in Utah. They live 2177 miles from their father. If we were to drive straight through, it would take over 33 hours. This is not an ideal situation for any blended family. It is, unfortunately, a prevalent one in the Military community. This blog post is about turning the time & distance into just another number. 
There is another virus running rampant in blended families. It's a negative attitude that can take hold if you aren't careful. Your child may miss out on a sleepover, camp, or event because they have to visit the other parent. Your child may be sad about missing said event. It's hard watching the disappointment in your child's eyes. If you aren't careful you can fall right into their sadness and what I call the, "Attitude of Missed Opportunities".
I became an Army Wife February 2, 2008 at the age of 34. I was a single yuppie. I worked at Verizon Wireless 10 years. I had already bought my own home, car, and thought I would be single forever. I had no urge to settle down. I thought I would always adopt or foster a child one day. My course in life changed when I met my husband. I met him online. I thought he would be a booty call and nothing serious. Maybe that's how we fell in love. We were both so open. No lies and nothing to lose. 
