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Half My Heart is in Korea: Surviving a Hardship Tour During Pregnancy Part 1

AWC > Military Life > Half My Heart is in Korea: Surviving a Hardship Tour During Pregnancy Part 1 by Courtney

In my introduction, I mentioned that when I was 3 months pregnant my husband got orders to Korea. My husband and I moved here to Fort Bragg, NC in January 2010, where he was stationed with the 44th Medical Brigade.

We were here for a little over 2 years when one day my husband logged into his AKO to check his requisition.  It said that he was on orders.  My heart sank, I just knew it was Korea.  The previous months before my husband and I had often talked about volunteering to take a different base to get us out for Fort Bragg.  We waited a little while and then we finally received word that in fact, he was to report to Korea in April 2012.  Another hard blow, my due date was May 19, 2012.  What in the heck was I going to do!?!??! I couldn't even imagine having this baby by myself!

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After asking around and asking a lot of questions, we learned that my husband could apply for an extension to push his report date back up to 90 days.  I prayed every single day that it got approved, and I'm sure I drove my husband absolutely nuts asking him if he'd heard anything about it.  One day, my husband called me and said he had some news and by the tone of his voice, I just knew it wasn't good news.  His commander would only approve a 60 day extension, which would mean depending on when our daughter arrived that he would be leaving very soon after.  My husband to this day doesn't know this, but I cried my eyes out in the bathroom for at least an hour(he knows now!!!) I was devastated for my myself but even more, I was devastated for our daughter was going to miss out on her daddy for a whole year, the first year of her life.  More importantly, I was scared to death!!! I had NO idea how I was going to do it, and I feared that I'd be clueless.

May finally was here and I began to have mixed feelings about having the baby.  Around my due date, I was making no progress but not enough progress and my doctor saw no need to make me carry the baby any farther because i was approaching 41 weeks.  At my 40 week appointment, they scheduled my induction, which happened to fall on Memorial Day 2012.  I felt a sense of relief that my husband was going to get to be home for a little longer with our daughter, but i was still nervous.  On the day, I went into the hospital at 8am, and at around 2:30pm I started my pitocin.  My daughter made her way into the world at 11:57pm on May 28th, 2012.

I was in the hospital for about 1 and 3/4 of a day.  We got home and did all of our introductions to our 2 cats and our dog bentley, and then all the emotions started to come.  My husband hasn't finished clearing before our daughter was born, so while he was on his paternity/PCS leave, he was required to finish clearing because of a stupid army technicality.  On June 9th at 230pm, we had to leave for the Fayetteville Airport.  It was SO emotional.  Everything was "the last", his last diaper change, his last feeding, everything was so emotional.  It didn't help that my hormones were still ragging, but i just didn't want this day to come.  Finally, at around 5pm, he boarded the plane and it was the hardest thing I have ever done.  I had to watch his say goodbye to our 11 day old daughter, and I was so upset because i felt like he hadn't even gotten the time to bond with her and we were now being ripped apart.

Has I made my way to the parking lot, I just bawled and people were looking at my like I had 2 heads and a horn sticking out of my head.  I went home, crawled in bed with my little munchkin in her bobby pillow and held on to every smell and memory I had of our last hours together in our little apartment. I finally began to sink into my reality that he was gone and i tried to forget about what lied ahead by making sure my daughter had everything she needed.  I couldn't help but feel blessed that i was given such a gift, despite what i was going through, and believed that god had played a special part in this gift to us.  I was still getting texts from my husband because he had a layover on his way to San Fransico.  It wasn't until he boarded his final plane to Korea that it hit me.  The next morning, his cellphone was disconnected and i waited and waited and waited for word that he had arrived.


To be continued...


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